Monday 20 January 2020

The Great Tradwife debate

I've been baking today. Not quite sure what put me in the mood but the children were quite happy to discover a mountain of jam tarts waiting for them after school.
It made me feel a little nostalgic for my posh friend in the old play ground. 
While the tarts were cooking I fell across an article about The Tradwife movement.
I spent a fair while watching various YouTube videos, reading message boards and blog posts about it all. I find the idea pretty fascinating. There's several things that DH and I do that would probably be considered Tradwife.  I am a full time stay at home mum of 4, I do the majority of the cooking, washing and cleaning, DH handles the finances of the family etc.
I wouldn't say I submit to him though, I have my own voice and opinions on things as does he. We don't always agree but we do compromise.
I'm not entirely sure where this puts me on the femanazi to Tradwife scale but I think we might be towards the top of the Tradwife  scale. 
As I said I find it pretty interesting so will continue to look into it. 
What are your thoughts, dear readers?

X x X


  1. We have always shared the chores and alternated with banking tasks. Now its down to him as I physically cannot do much. I feel strongly that it should be a shared relationship.

  2. I was listening to this on the radio today. I was a stay at home mother and wife and loved every minute of it. My kids all say that they remember a lovely childhood and that was because I was always there for them. I see your family on the blog and it reminds me how we used to be, you are doing it all right and I admire you for it.
    Your kids will love you for it later in life and they will be stable human beings all because of you.

  3. I was a SAHM until my youngest turned five. I went to nursing college.

    I raised our sons with our values, something I don't think childcare providers or facilities can do.

    I looked after the money and much to my husband's delight continued to do so once I started earning and the student loans had been repaid, I paid off the mortgage.

    Nothing to be ashamed off. We do what we have to when we have to.

  4. I used to be a tradwife but now that the kids are grown and gone and there are grandkids we have evolved. Retirement will do that. I still do most of the cooking but my husband does the cleanup after dinner and does all the laundry including folding and remaking the beds. I put my stuff away and he does his and neither of us irons unless absolutely necessary. I can't manage the outside stuff but do most of the inside cleaning....except for the bathroom he uses ( I do mine).

  5. I was a "trad wife" didn't know it had a title! I just knew I could save more money by being at home than I could earn from working - and anyway I hated working for someone else which is why I spent so many years self-employed with the campsite.
    Hope your family are all well

  6. I loved being a SAHM when my kids were in school. I cooked, knitted, sewed, and generally kept the house running. When my youngest was about to go to secondary school I started working part time. Most young couples these days seem to want to start off married/cohabiting life in a style of house that we worked for many years to own. They aren't content to live in a small but affordable home. That is impossible to do on one wage so the kids are shuffled between child minders and after school clubs in order that both parents might go out to work. It's a difficult choice though when career ladders are involved.

  7. it really does boil down to having the choice , but im not sure why people belittle those who choose to be full time homemakers. Its what im stuck with being a full time,carer there was no choice involved it was do it or your partner will have to go into care. But coming from a family where the women apart from my mother never worked i still find im climbing the walls with boredom a lot of the time . We all need to be given the choice and the decision is one that is different for everyone

  8. I think it is the term "submitting" to your husband that puts a lot of backs up. Personally I believe in trying to share tasks equally dependant on one's skills and opportunities. We both hate cleaning, but as we both work full time we share it; he's better at IT and finance stuff, so he does that, but I cook and we share other things. I read somewhere that if you both think you're doing more than the other person, you've probably got the balance right!
    Enjoy your time with the kids. Your choice and noone has a right to say anything against it!!

  9. I think if you and your husband are happy in those roles it's great. We all need the option to choose what works best for us and our families 😊

  10. Unfortunately the meaning of submitting in marriage is largely misunderstood. Biblically, marriage is a picture of Christ and the Church. So the husband is in charge overall. However, this does not mean lording it over the wife. Instead it means taking care to nurture and protect her, putting her wellbeing first and generally treating her as well as he would want to be treated. In essence, serving her by leading well. So my husband and I share decision making, because he doesn't lord it over me and I know he has OUR best interests at heart. That means I can submit, I don't have to worry that my needs won't be taken in to consideration.


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